Krystyna, K-Dun, my Speshul Weshul Love of my Life is Returning!

I am heading to L.A. next weekend to visit my BFF K.D.! It's been waaaaaaay too long since I last saw her. K.D. is one of the sweetest, most honest, driven, loving, and compassionate people I have ever met. I can't wait to tell her "Jambo!" as soon as I see her!

One more important thing to know about K.D. is that through all my trials and tribulations, K.D. was THE ONLY friend that stood by me and held my hand through it all (K.L. too has been amazing always... I can't forget her...). My parents bash me for always investing all my time on one best friend and then getting hurt when I'm left with no one. And history has shown that they have been right for the most part...

But on a positive note, it will be amazing to see K.D. and give her a big hug! The ranting above wasn't to name names and talk shit, but Krystyna has stood out among the others as a really amazing person in my life that has never stopped being a true friend. I know I have been difficult in the past, but it means a lot to me that I will always have her in my life. I look forward to meeting other Krystyna's in my life and I'm pretty sure I have already found one... you know who you are, my little Babooshka

Mr. Rush Limbaugh, Please Give Me Your Secret to Unlimited Wealth & Oxycontin

I MUST know your secret Mr. Limbaugh... millions of listeners, millions of dollars, enormous amounts of influence and easy access to large amounts of Oxycontin. I really think you and I would get along well. I know you have to keep your sexuality on the 'straight-and-narrow' for all your conservative viewers, but deep down I know you need a little sugar... and I wouldn't mind you as my sugar daddy. I will need daily cash allowance, several credit cards and unlimited access to your pharmaceuticals, but other than that I promise I won't ask for too much! It will be our little secret...

But seriosuly... Rush Limbaugh influences American politics in such a profound manner. People love his ignorant rants and raves, like how he hopes that "everything Obama does fails, because when Obama fails America succeeds." Obama has done a MUCH better job at listening to the majority of the people and reaching across the aisle than Bush. Obama's intelligence level is several orders of magnitude larger than Bush. Obama is a better public speaker than Bush... Bush's command of the English language was laughable and an embarrassment to the great nation of America. Even if you hate black people and those with Muslim-sounding names, you gotta admit that Obama is rather intelligent. That is an undeniable fact.

It amazes me how twisted and wrong the conservative movement has become. Don't get me wrong, I understand wanting 'less government' and allowing the free market and competition to flow freely. However, to compare Obama to Hitler, to denounce his citizenship and his race, to denounce his supporters as raging idiot Nazi sympathizers... now that is just going too far.

As a nation, we need to find some way to get everyone involved and KEEPING them involved in the decades to come. I don't have any suggestions or solutions, but I do think that Obama has done a MUCH BETTER job of this compared to Bush... and as long as there are improvements, we are moving the correct direction.

Fashion Critics Destroy Lohan's New Ungaro Collection

Lindsay Lohan had so much potential but let it all go to waste by fucking her life up. Look up her poor excuse for a fashion ad... it's her Fornarina commercial
It looks like it's from an 80s AV club.

After Lohan was appointed creative director at Ungaro in 2007, the head designer Esteban Cortazar quit. Lohan used her 'creativity' at Ungaro to design skimpy dresses and risqué bra-tops that fall short of the Ungaro legacy. Get over your daddy issues honey and realize that you no longer have a career.

But if you start up a new show called "Lindsay Lohan's New BFF," please give me a call.

Sophisticated Drug Dealers in Haute Couture

For those of you that know me, you are most likely aware of the fact that I VASTLY expanded my mind during my time at UC Berkeley. The lifestyle was ridiculous, exhilarating, dark, mind blowing and nearly lethal (a few times). Ever since moving back to my hometown, it has been very difficult to acclimate to the different lifestyle. I love it in my hometown HOWEVER it has been a big change for me to go from having so much freedom to now constantly being under new rules & restrictions. It also has been hard because I have disappointed my family so much that they probably will never forgive me. Just the other day my family had an intervention with me in which they brought up several things they want me to change about myself. I can understand constructive criticism, but what bothered me was that the criticisms weren't behavioral problems. They were criticisms such as : "You get too excited when you talk sometimes and use your hands and it makes us uncomfortable" and "You look sickly. Your eating habits are irregular. You are not acting like a normal person. And you're so pale, you always look unhealthy. Get some color, some sun" and lastly, my dad told me "I can't believe you got a B when you should be getting A's. I don't care that only 2 people got A's and two got B's, you aren't trying hard enough. Your best just isn't cutting it." This was followed with my mom repeating several times how I have, hypothetically, repeatedly "Kicked my family in the teeth and then shit on them." And to think that I though things were getting better! Yikes! I guess I was wrong about that one! My family says that I have lost all my morals and values and now I am a shadow of who I once was. It hurts to hear that especially when I have been so happy with my progress and I am so relieved that I am in a much happier place mentally. Even if my close friends and family can't see the changes, I know deep down inside my soul that I have improved and I am in a much better place. It hurts me so much to have to think like this but I am at a loss of options. It just hurts too much to constantly be trying to please everyone else while neglecting my well-being. I am doing my best to find a fair balance between what I need for myself and what others need of me. SIDENOTE: this blog is an exaggeration of my true feelings. Blogs allow people to take on a new persona and allow the blogger to let all the pent up emotions and secrets out. It is an uplifting process like writing in a journal. Yes I can understand that others can read this SOOOOO I will be changing names to initials or nicknames from now on. I will no longer post anything that can get me into trouble or prevent me from getting a job. HOWEVER, I WILL NEVER SUPPRESS MY PAST OR DENY WHAT HAS SHAPED ME INTO THE PERSON THAT I AM TODAY. JUST AS I WILL NEVER DENY OR HIDE MY SEXUALITY, NETIHER WILL I DENY THE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO ME. HOLDING ALL THE PAINFUL MEMORIES IN HAS NOT FARED WELL FOR ME IN THE PAST, LEADING TO SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ATTEMPTS.

We are so sick of the drab, dull and boring people that are stuck in the valley. Paulina met a possible new addition to our dynamic duo... this boy that is in Betty Ford and is super cultured. I guess we shall see if he has true potential! Even though the lack of culture is a drag, the positive side of it is that we stand out amongst the lay people as sophisticated and tasteful. The average persons standards are SO LOW that we look like the skinniest most fashionable people in the WORLD to all the schleps in the valley. I guess there are some benefits to living here, but my heart tells me that my future truly belongs in the city... whether it's SF, LA, or NYC.

First Day of Cold... Time to Shop for Fall Fashion!

This website OAKNYC, shown to me by my partner in crime Babooshka, has some of the hottest stuff! I am changing my wardrobe up now that I finally lost the weight I needed to lose so now it's time for a change! Hopefully I can keep the pounds off despite the tendency to overeat in cold weather. Aren't these ACNE jeans hot? let me know what y'all think. COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT! That way my blog will start showing up on google searches if you link to it and comment on it. SHARE THIS SHIT WITH YOUR FRIENDS YO!

A New ME

I haven't updated in awhile, but I decided I really need to start up again. It's a great outlet for my creative energies (I'm awful at art, singing, dancing etc.) and it helps keep me busy. So what has changed, you ask? Well...

I'm living in my hometown, CA with the parents now
I'm working at a high end clothing store
I finished four years at college, but still don't have my degree in biology
I have had two boyfriends since I last blogged (one REALLY sucked the other was AMAZING...)
My new best friend is this amazing girl... you know who you are

College fucking changed my life forever. The things I experienced there will forever affect my outlook on life and the way I interact with the world around me. Drugs, sex, parties, the streets of S.F. ... everything has shaped who I am today in a very profound way. I am not proud of a lot of the things that I have done but I cannot deny them either. I will never be able to erase the past. I plan on blogging about everything that HAS HAPPENED as well as what IS HAPPENING now.

Today is my last day in Honolulu Hawaii and I can't wait to get home to see my girl and tomorrow I get to see this really cute boy and his friend. A new life awaits me in my hometown and I plan to live it up to the fullest. Tell your friends and share my link everywhere you possibly can. I just finished my coffee at starbucks so now I'm off to the gym to work on my body a little...

ME NOW

YEARS IS GOING PRETTY WELL. DONT HAVE MONDAY OR FRIDAY CLASS SO I'M GONNA TRY TO GET A JOB. AND I LOST 15 LBS! YEAH!!!! FINALLY GONNA LOOK DECENT HOPEFULLY. UPDATES SOON!