Love of my Life

For the past few years I have been absolutely enamored... infatuated with this girl. The only girl I have ever been with, the only one I have shared my complete soul with, the only one who makes me feel complete. Everybody seems to have an opinion about us but they don't know the passion and intensity we share for one another. I would give my life for this girl. I had to disappear from her life for awhile but now that I am talking to her, my love has been reinforced a million fold. It's like we never had time apart. I miss you and love you so so much girl. I'm so proud of you and know that we will be together soon enough... I can't wait.

Life After Jail, Rehab, and Sober Living

I know I haven't updated my blog in a long time and I am terribly sorry about that. So much has been going on that I haven't had much of a chance. Since I last wrote an entry, my life has been turned upside down and inside out. Some of the highlights include:

-Entering a domestic partnership with a disgusting, fat 65 year old man for money, drugs, a car, and a place to live
-Being put into the mental hospital a few times for attempted suicide and opiate detox
-Going to 2 rehabs and a sober living
-Getting arrested in Inglewood with my soulmate
-Overdosing 3 times
-Having white supremacists looking to kill me after I stole their drugs
-Being banned from my parents home after nodding off on heroin
-Living on the streets of Inglewood, Laguna Beach and Palm Springs

Can't keep me down though. I have made it through so much and I know that I am a stronger person today because of it. Now, unfortuneately, I'm at this horrid homeless shelter filled with fat, disgusting slobs that are out of their fucking minds. I don't belong here. I'm trying everything I can to get out but sometimes things take time.
I miss my best friend so so so so much but I'm glad to know that she's doing well and I can't wait for the day that we are re-united. She really completes my soul like no one else in my entire life has been able to do. I'm fasting for the next few days in her honor. I definitely could stand to lose a few pounds anyways. Getting a little chunky for sure. I weigh 155 today at 6' tall and would be so proud to lose about 15-20 lbs. Quod me nutrit, me destruit, as Angelina Jolie's tattoo says. I have been craving heroin like no other. Cures my appetite, makes me feel glamorous, and takes away all my concerns. i just need to get my own place first and save up a little money.
Well, I'm so glad to be writing again because it really helps me sort out all the craziness inside my head. I will let you know how my fast goes and will make sure to update my blog often.

P.S. That picture is from one of my favorite photographers Francesca Woodman who killed herself at 22